I think writing in here keeps me grounded, writing gives me time to contemplate about some of the positive things in my life and reminds me to not dwell on the negative.

Yesterday I was wearing a cowl neck sweater and one student pulled on it and asked, "这是什么？" ("What is this?") I laughed, how endearing children are most of the time. I really love working with them, but sometimes I forget... I wish teachers are as respected as other professions and paid fairly for the amount of work we put into our careers. Sometimes I dream of living a glamorous life, but then I get my head out of the clouds and remember that all that matters to me is being with the love of my life and loving what I do and being successful at it.

Right now, it's hard to see the silver lining with so many more hurdles to jump. I come home from work and then either have class or have homework to do for class. I am really looking forward to Christmas break. I'll be making Snoopy Christmas House cookies, so excited about that! I wish work actually ended a few days before Christmas Eve just so that I can prepare for the holidays. Christmas is my favorite holiday of the entire year, including even my birthday! Because on Christmas everyone gets presents, well except for Jehovah's witnesses and people who celebrate Kwanzaa and Hanukkah (I believe, if I am wrong please educate me!)

Come sit with me :)

On the drive from lunch with my little sis today, I bought up the topic of "haters". Have you ever noticed hateful comments on different celebrities' videos, posts, etc? I am a huge fan of Taylor Swift. I like to listen to her songs and reminisce in the memories that her lyrics and melodies bring me. A lot of people like to comment on how she can't sing and how she sucks, blah blah blah. My sister told me that this one girl decided to strip one of Taylor Swift's song down to just her acoustic guitar and how it was basically the same chords over and over again. What I don't understand is why people like to spend their time posting hateful comments. What satisfaction does it give them? I for one am not a fan of Miley Cyrus' but I don't go watch her videos and then post a mean comment. If I don't like their music, then I stay away, it's as simple as that.

"...I think actively caring about people's daily perception of you makes you second-guess everything, I am very happily not paranoid right now."

-- Taylor Swift

Oh T-Swizzle, so young yet so wise. I've always been bothered by other people's perceptions of me. But I've come to realize that trying to please everyone is impossible and utterly exhausting. Especially now when I'm trying to balance so many things. This is me, trying to be the best that I can be. Trying, trying, trying!

Things I wish I had more time to do:

1. Play guitar
2. Play video games
3. Cook & bake

Cheers to a beautiful and sunny weekend!

"And I had my heart beating down,
but I always come back for more, yeah
There's nothing like love to pull you up
when you're lying down on the floor."

Life is funny, I feel that there's always surprises in store for you. It's interesting how people enter your life and become so dear to you. But I realized intimacy doesn't stay constant, it's always changing. I'm really grateful to have met so many wonderful people, even if they come and go.

I helped my friend move into her new apartment in the city, and am very envious with the empty space she gets to work with. I went to Ikea today and thought of all the possibilities. I want a new desk and book shelf, smaller so that I can have more space.

I looked up some photos online and here are some that inspires me

I like this one because of the window above the bedThis one is whimsical with the lights around the bed

I like the simplicity of this one & the dog is gorgeous too :)

I like the giraffe :)

I think this one is my favorite because of the little corner she set up to sit when she wants to read or write or dream

Fit for a princess!

This one is romantic

I would take a picture of my room but I left my camera at my friend's house. These are so lovely~ I want to make my room just as lovely

Children say the cutest things

Me: "Mikey, can I have a hug?"
*Mikey gives me a hug while saying, "This is a hug."

Ms. Sarah: "Michael, what did you do at tabletop today?"
Michael: While looking troubled said, "My toes itches."

I've been up for over 4 hours now and haven't even made a dent into my paper. I did eventually open Microsoft Word. I am a bad student, my procrastination doesn't hurt anyone but myself.

This is only my 2nd semester of graduate school, but I'm so ready to be finished!!!

My shoulders hurt a lot.. the pain is distracting..

lilsushiboy (12:06:58 AM): somebody is gonna get hurt

jennyy (12:07:08 AM): somebody gonna get hurt real bad

lilsushiboy (12:07:16 AM): im not gonna tell u who

jennyy (12:07:22 AM): i know who anyways!

jennyy (12:07:27 AM): i will sit and squish you

lilsushiboy (12:07:33 AM): really ?

lilsushiboy(12:07:41 AM): can u even imagine that happening ?

jennyy (12:07:53 AM): i will use gravity and pressure

Today is independence day, I spent most of it exploring bits and pieces of Boston.

I'm home now, sitting in my stuffy room. Just an hour ago, fireworks were set off right outside my house. A bunch of high school kids were gathered outside watching. The girls were shrieking in fear and the boys were tossing a football back and forth. This group of kids led me to think about how I spent my July 4th previous years. I usually spent them with my closest friends... this year it's different. I'm not sure where half of them are. I miss you guys.

"I felt my heart was trying to find a place for you to stay, a place where I feel safe."

Kina Grannis writes the sweetest, most heartfelt lyrics, which I like to relate to.


I like this picture from Disney Pixar

Never again will I work for the Academic Advantage. I can't believe the amount of paperwork they have tutors complete, plus the many glitches in their stupid system. No one ever picks up at the company and they reply to e-mails at the slowest pace and I STILL HAVE NOT BEEN PAID! 3 separate websites to sign into with different user names and passwords, and once you get past the log-in you're faced with documents that you have to retrieve which you can't even find... then I must make more than one trip to my student's house to get their parent's signatures, freaking ridiculous.. seriously never again. I enjoy tutoring but I really can't stand the Academic Advantage manages things. They're not helpful at all!! Since this is a country of free speech and this is my blog, I can rant all I want about them.

finding beauty where the dark's hold lets go

I've been searching dreary weather
for a cloud that's line in silver
but the rain keeps on falling
and my love, i am calling for you

Click to enlarge

Peeerfect

nghm (4:23:28 PM): whenever I think about you, it's always accompanied by images of cute things and sweets

I always get my face dirty when I eat watermelon (lol)

The things kids say that makes my day :)

Earlier last week I went to visit the learning center where I used to work. I bought the children some donuts. One of the little girls said, "Ms. Jennifer, the next time you come to visit us can you bring the cookies you baked instead? They are way better than these donuts!"

Earlier this morning I had an interview at a school for children with learning disabilities. I really liked it there. The teachers and staff were really friendly and the children of course were adorable. As part of the interviewing process I was placed into a classroom to interact with the teacher and children. As I was walking away from the classroom and down the hall, one little boy looked up at his teacher and said, "I liked her." His teacher looked towards me, laughed and said, "Aw, I liked her too Brian." That was so sweet and definitely made me day.

"You once whispered words to me

Wondering if anybody loved each other like we do"

"Everything worth knowing leaves bruises."

Like I said, bruises = character

Hello

Today I will quote Dory's well-known line "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.." Can't sweat the small stuff.

Still I must say this "adult life" is peculiar. Sometimes, I daydream and think about all my friends who are scattered around the world. They are all so dear to me, but it is hard to stay in touch. Everyone is busy with their own lives. On top of that, the different time zones don't make it very easy to contact one another. I suppose this brings me down a little bit. Why can't I go about my days without thinking so much?, be more carefree and embrace every day as it comes? My mamu studied my palms before, pointed out how densely lined they are and that this means I must think a lot or worry a lot.

I like that song California Girls by Katy Perry - - Sun-kissed skin so hot, will melt your popsicle! I do a little dance in my car seat whenever it comes on.

My elephants

funny spanish

jenny (1:13:36 AM): when you gonna move out

greenoodle (1:14:23 AM): july

jenny (1:14:54 AM): bbq at su casa

jenny (1:14:55 AM): lol

greenoodle (1:15:12 AM): me casa et su casa

jenny (1:15:17 AM): omg lol

jenny (1:15:22 AM): mi casa es su casa

roses are red,
violets are blue,
tu-lips are what we'll be kissing woo woo

"calvin & hobbes"

lovers go and lovers come
awandering awondering
but any two are perfectly
alone there's nobody else alive

- e.e.cummings

I've been day-dreaming about traveling lately. Bookmarking places I want to go once I have the money. I've decided my favorite section in the Times is the Travel section. They had a wonderful slide show on the NYTimes website, a compilation of photos and stories from different people around the world explaining why they travel. This one guy said:

“I like to travel for three fundamental reasons: first, to get to know the culture of the place — meeting people, learning how they live, what they do, what they think, what their worries are. Second is the history of the place. And third is architecture, sculpture and art."

I wholeheartedly agree with him. When I travel I want to dive right into the culture, and learn as much as I can. Taste their different foods and dance their dances. Then, capture beautiful and memorable pictures to share with all my friends.

--------------------------------------
I asked my best friend Li Ling,

"What happens when your dreams are better than your reality?"

She said,

"Then you just keep this dream in your heart and let it drive your ambitions for a better reality."

I couldn't have answered it better myself.

--------------------------------------
Sometimes late at night I have these great conversations with my friends, here's one on love.

Jelly: why are you suppressing your love?

Cookie: love is too much trouble, makes you too vunerable

Jelly: but it is beautiful when it is right

Cookie: don't worry though, my love for you is always there

Jelly: makes you feel high and like you can fly

Jelly: and really when you're in love, the whole world really does shrink

Cookie: except you won't go to jail, and you would actually die if you jump off a bridge

Jelly: and its just you and her

Cookie: yea you're right haha

Cookie: guess you are like that girl in He's Just Not That Into You and I'm the guy that you end up with in the end. I'm awful with names.. I don't remember hahaha

Jelly: we are too romantic

Jelly: what?! how do you figure that

Jelly: I don't want to be such a romantic person

Jelly: i want to be more logical

Cookie: you are a girl lol girls are usually drive by their emotions man

Jelly: smart girls hide their emotions

Jelly: stomp on them til they die

Cookie: lol

Cookie: that's cold

Cookie: so the emotion just doesn't come back?

Cookie: that sucks

Jelly: and a tiny voice will be like "help"

Cookie: wow you italicize and lower the font size

Cookie: nice

Jelly: so what did she say?

Jelly: I'm so confused

Cookie: she said somewhere around the lines of

Cookie: "I may dissect each little thing and put myself out there so much but at least that means that I still care. Oh! You've think you won because women are expendable to you. You may not get hurt or make an ass of yourself that way but you don't fall in love that way either. You have not won. You're alone. I may do a lot of stupid shit but I'm still a lot closer to love than you are."

What is your take on love?

Camera phone pic of the week:



a bear hiding in this tree

young girls

Today my 1st grade girls were singing Rihanna's Rude Boy song...

Little Alana & Alexa: "Come here, rude boy, boy; can you get it up?
Come here rude boy, boy; is you big enough?"

Me: *gasp "Girls why are you singing that song? It's naughty!"

Alana: "What does naughty mean?"

Me: Haha...

Alana & Alexa: "Our parents let us sing it."

Me: "Well.. then I guess it's okay..."

Scary dreams

Last night I was woken up by a very scary dream. =(
In the dream I was walking down a crowded street, talking on my cell with my mother. I noticed an old man walking with a cane in front of me. Suddenly, he dropped his cane and he slowly fell forward. "Oh, sh*t!!" I run to the old man, tap him a little and then shake him a little (yes, I know you shouldn't shake someone who has fallen over.) I was about to turn him over but then I realized I should really dial 9-1-1. But, I was shaking so bad I couldn't press the numbers. I think I tried to scream for help, but my voice was very weak and it cracked. Anyhow, I woke up before I was able to successfully call the cops.
=( creepy dream... it was so dark and dreary

Is this how I'd really react when there's an emergency? completely helpless?

I drove to classes early today to complete some paperwork. Commuting to classes leaves me feeling strangely aloof. I don't feel that I'm a part of the community at all.

It was pretty cold today, I watched the light snow swirl across the parking lot, so beautiful and almost magical. I walked quickly to my car to get out of the cold. Still, I was mesmerized by the swirling snow and the stillness of the campus.

My professor caught me daydreaming in class yesterday. It was quite embarrassing.. she called on me while I was twirling my hair... and when my eyes met hers, I knew that she knew I haven't been paying attention. lols. I had to ask her to repeat the question. Yikes :P

I flipped on the tube while eating a late dinner and happily discovered American Idol was on! My, oh my does this show get my emotions running. As I watched contestants receive the judges' decision, tears ran down my cheeks and chills went down my body. I think I feel this emotional because I can see how much these singers want to be one of the top 24. It's another step in obtaining their dreams, fixing their lives... a struggle that every one of us goes through in our lives.

beginnings?

I am feeling quite nervous at the moment, more stressed than I would like. This week is all about preparations, completing paperwork, scheduling classes... etc, etc.

I drove to the Adelphi university's campus today with Li Ling. I plugged in my GPS and located my point of interest. We hit traffic on the L.I.E. (no surprise there) I really hope I don't have to drive through traffic throughout the week. (please, please, please) We tried to locate Harvey Hall, but ended up circling the campus three times without any success. As for the campus' surroundings, I will give it a 4/10. The houses around the area are really beautiful but I'm not a fan of the stores and convenience stops. It looks like a small town but without the charm of the set on Gilmore Girls. Hehe, was it silly of me to hope for something of the likes of NYU or Columbia? I am so silly.

Hrmm.. what would life be like, if there were less uncertainties?


Does the sunscreen song The Sunscreen Song leave any impressions upon you?

I'd like to remember this part: "Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind...the race is long, and in the end its only with yourself."
Actually I really like this song, it's just hard to remember all the messages in it.

Also this: "Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum." So, put a smile on that beautiful face of yours... no worries!