Hello, through my heart~

Recently, I've noticed how a majority of people do not recycle. It happens in my work building and on my university's campus. Where I work, there are recycling bins in every classroom and in offices. Yet, many people will put what is recyclable in the garbage can instead of the recycling bin. One of my co-worker even told me that he throws out re-usable tupperware because he thinks that it is gross to reuse them! It baffles me how wasteful some people can be without feeling any guilt.

As for my university, I haven't seen a recycling bin in any of the classrooms. They have them in the cafeterias... but who will actually take their papers and bottles with them to the cafeteria to recycle? I had one professor who would make a huge stack of handouts about one inch thick every week we had class. The problem was she would make mistakes and copy the same pages twice. And there was no recycling bin in the classrooms! Anyhow, I just looked up the environmental student club on campus and emailed the adviser. I wonder if she will reply.

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My relationship with my sister continues to remain at a unloving standstill. The only times she actually talks to me is when she wants something. I scolded her today for the tone of voice she used to talk to our mother, very disrespectful... Anyhow I'm hoping it's our age gap and eventually as she matures we will have a better relationship. I realize that everyone's bad moods will bounce off one another, my mom came into my room and yelled at me for wearing shorts when it's so cold. Her eyes went all crazy bugged out and the volume of her voice raised several decibels. Seriously? it's not that serious. I wish my family were more soft spoken.

“I’m not the silly romantic you think. I don’t want the heavens or the shooting stars. I don’t want gemstones or gold. I have those things already. I want…a steady hand. A kind soul. I want to fall asleep, and wake, knowing my heart is safe. I want to love, and be loved.” - Shana Abé

"For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others. For beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness. And for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone." - Audrey Hepburn

"You always hurt the ones you love
The one you shouldn't hurt at all
You always take the sweetest rose
and crush it until the petals fall
you always break the kindest hearts,
With a hasty word you can't recall
And if I broke your heart last night,
It's because I love you most of all."- M. Buble

I think writing in here keeps me grounded, writing gives me time to contemplate about some of the positive things in my life and reminds me to not dwell on the negative.

Yesterday I was wearing a cowl neck sweater and one student pulled on it and asked, "这是什么？" ("What is this?") I laughed, how endearing children are most of the time. I really love working with them, but sometimes I forget... I wish teachers are as respected as other professions and paid fairly for the amount of work we put into our careers. Sometimes I dream of living a glamorous life, but then I get my head out of the clouds and remember that all that matters to me is being with the love of my life and loving what I do and being successful at it.

Right now, it's hard to see the silver lining with so many more hurdles to jump. I come home from work and then either have class or have homework to do for class. I am really looking forward to Christmas break. I'll be making Snoopy Christmas House cookies, so excited about that! I wish work actually ended a few days before Christmas Eve just so that I can prepare for the holidays. Christmas is my favorite holiday of the entire year, including even my birthday! Because on Christmas everyone gets presents, well except for Jehovah's witnesses and people who celebrate Kwanzaa and Hanukkah (I believe, if I am wrong please educate me!)

Come sit with me :)

On the drive from lunch with my little sis today, I bought up the topic of "haters". Have you ever noticed hateful comments on different celebrities' videos, posts, etc? I am a huge fan of Taylor Swift. I like to listen to her songs and reminisce in the memories that her lyrics and melodies bring me. A lot of people like to comment on how she can't sing and how she sucks, blah blah blah. My sister told me that this one girl decided to strip one of Taylor Swift's song down to just her acoustic guitar and how it was basically the same chords over and over again. What I don't understand is why people like to spend their time posting hateful comments. What satisfaction does it give them? I for one am not a fan of Miley Cyrus' but I don't go watch her videos and then post a mean comment. If I don't like their music, then I stay away, it's as simple as that.

"...I think actively caring about people's daily perception of you makes you second-guess everything, I am very happily not paranoid right now."

-- Taylor Swift

Oh T-Swizzle, so young yet so wise. I've always been bothered by other people's perceptions of me. But I've come to realize that trying to please everyone is impossible and utterly exhausting. Especially now when I'm trying to balance so many things. This is me, trying to be the best that I can be. Trying, trying, trying!

Things I wish I had more time to do:

1. Play guitar
2. Play video games
3. Cook & bake

Cheers to a beautiful and sunny weekend!